'It’s only natural to be curious about sex, sweetie, and my shelves full of unpublished erotica based on well-known fictional characters are always right there when you need answers.'
As your body changes, I’m sure you’ve noticed your thoughts are changing too. Maybe there are boys in your class you don’t think of the same way you used to. This can be confusing and even a little scary, especially if you haven’t read my threecrossover screenplays, in which Rory Gilmore falls for a brooding Ron Weasley, can’t take her mind off the bulging shaft under his robe, and longs to feel the magic of his thick, throbbing wand. But these kinds of urges are perfectly normal, honey.
Look, I can see you’re starting to blush. Still, you may find it helpful to look through my portfolio of illustrated fanfic that shows how, as they go through puberty, Sailor Moon’s breasts begin to ripen and both of Sonic the Hedgehog’s penises grow in length and girth.Of course, you may not be attracted to boys, and that’s fine—whatever you feel, there’sto be ashamed of.
I know you may think it’s a little early to be talking about this stuff. After all, your period may not start for another couple years.
I know you’re squirming, and I’m sure you want to go outside and play with your friends. Believe me, I understand. When I was your age, my own mother handed me a crudely bound book with Huckleberry Hound and Betty Rubble on the cover, murmuring something about how those two spent an entire night engaging in every depraved sexual act you can imagine and then, as the sun rose, took turns pissing on each other’s naked bodies.
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