LOS ANGELES—In a desperate attempt to make some quick cash, a homeless Matt Damon was forced to sell his kidney Friday after losing everything in a crypto pump and dump scheme. “I know I shouldn’t have put all my money in that hyped up crypto token, but it seemed like a sure thing at the time!” said Damon, who was…
LOS ANGELES—In a desperate attempt to make some quick cash, a homeless Matt Damon was forced to sell his kidney Friday after losing everything in a crypto pump and dump scheme.
“I know I shouldn’t have put all my money in that hyped up crypto token, but it seemed like a sure thing at the time!” said Damon, who was lowering himself in an ice bath at a run-down clinic just outside the city limits after being tricked into buying a fraudulent cryptocurrency right before the price crashed. “I already sold all the plasma I could to try to pay off the money I borrowed, and I’m feeling really weak.
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