DearPrudie: I have no idea what this woman is up to. Help!
I like the idea of a direct confrontation—whether over email or in person—that makes it very clear that she, as you say, has overstepped the bounds of decency. Because of how weird she is consider involving your husband and your stepson in the conversation:
In these situations, I’m fully in favor of exposing someone’s bad behavior and getting help in dealing with it. OP should involve the stepson and possibly her husband so that she doesn’t have to confront the DIL about her inappropriate behavior by herself. —honestly, I’d just ask. I’d try to focus on facts and the actual impact of her actions: “I found out you’ve been doing XYZ. it’s been really painful for me.
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