DearPrudie: It doesn't matter whether he did it intentionally or not.
Am I wrong to think his actions were rude and disrespectful toward me at their family BBQ? I recently met my fiancé’s family for the first time at the family BBQ which his mom and dad organized at their cabin at the lake. Everything went well overall until the end. They seemed like friendly people. The sister initially I thought was a bit stand-offish but by the end, we had a chance to chat and my perspective of her changed.
The brother decided to let one out loudly. A huge loud fart. This is a full-grown, married man acting in this way. My fiancé’s reaction was to pull me closer to him. His family’s reaction was to scoff it off. I can tell his wife was not pleased but also smiled about it. I felt embarrassed and disrespected but I played it cool until a few days later when I attempted to talk to my fiancé about it, to tell him how I felt.
Your fiancé should pull up that text in which his brother apologizes and say, “I appreciate you saying that. My fiancé was honestly a bit taken aback. What can you say to reassure her that this won’t happen at our wedding?” Whether his plan is to stop being intentionally gross, avoid certain food, or take medication, hopefully, his answer will give you some peace of mind.
Then keep an eye on him between now and the wedding. I don’t think farting is a “fire the best man” level offense. But if it happens again, warn your friends and family to keep their distance.My partner and I moved into a new house three months ago. We have an older couple as neighbors, and one of them, a man of 70, tends to give us instructions. He has told my partner not to grow bamboo along our shared fence because it may block his light.
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