Dear Prudie: I feel like at this point, if no one has ever liked me, then no one ever will.
back channels for direct conversation, and uncertainty for honest self-disclosure, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t say something to your boyfriend. Based on your letter, it sounds like you found out this information from a possibly misinformed third party; who better than your boyfriend to fill in the details of what actually happened? You trust him, he’s given you no cause to doubt his word, and your relationship is otherwise good, so speak up.
I would like to suggest to her that if the opportunity arises to have an erotic encounter she shouldn’t feel guilty. At the same time, I don’t want her to feel like I am pushing her away or that I expect reciprocation. We still have the hots for each other. Should I even raise the subject, and if so how do it tactfully and lovingly?but right before she leaves on vacation with a group of her friends probably isn’t the best time.
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