SeeingSomeone: 'I’m a great wingwoman, but I’ve never stepped into the arena myself. Plus, how do I tell someone I’ve never been kissed without it being a big thing? Do I tell them?' mostlyvibing, our new dating columnist, responds
I’ve got a not-so-dirty little secret: I’m 25 and have never been kissed. After some good ol’ therapy, I’m over a lot of my trust and intimacy issues, and I’m ready to make up for lost time and pucker up. The problem is I don’t know how to get started; I’m a great wingwoman, but I’ve never stepped into the arena myself.
Jo’s approach to her first kiss may feel relatable: “I kind of brute-forced it, like, Okay, it’s time to grow the fuck up. You’re a type A person. It’s time to just put yourself on a fucking deadline. I was so ashamed because I was 22. Like, This should have happened by now.” She was worried that telling someone she had never been kissed would make her “look weak and embarrassed and less attractive.
Any anxious person can probably relate to this; it can be scary to look like you don’t know what you’re doing. But I think Katie’s experience is pretty universal. No one is going to stop you mid-kiss to tell you it’s bad. He invited his date over to his place, and she accepted. Relying on the countless advice posts he had read over the years, he broke the “touch barrier” and moved in closer as they were flipping through some of his books, and when the timing felt right, he just went for it. Reflecting on the experience two years later, he said, “It was better than having sex for the first time, I’d say. I rode that high for about a week.
As for where you may do it, I polled the Hot Singles Instagram following. People suggested locations such as a bridge, a rooftop, or sitting on the same side of a booth at a bar. Harry, 27, felt strongly about the sidewalk: “You can’t kiss on the sidewalk unless you’re a teenager.” But, he added, “You’re allowed to do whatever you want when you’re in love.”
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