DearPrudie: Now I cringe every time he picks up his razor.
My brother-in-law “Elie” leeches off his parents. They paid for college, a failed business, and then graduate school. They continue to pay for his housing, even now that he is a 31-year-old professional with a six-figure salary. They’re nearing retirement age and don’t have any substantial savings. I think the way he takes advantage of them is terrible, especially because he could easily support himself.
For Christmas this year, Elie gave me a fancy pair of shoes. He always gives everyone generous gifts. In fact, his gifts are so generous that I often give Elie nicer presents than I normally would. But this time he accidentally included the receipt, which showed that he paid for it with his parents’ credit card. I now assume that all gifts I’ve received from Elie over the years have been paid for by his parents.
of your business. Your brother-in-law is an entitled asshole, and you have a right to decide whether you want to spend Christmas with him, or exchange gifts, or get together with him for dinner every couple of months. You’re allowed to make an assessment of his character and decide whether you care to know him! And there is plenty of room to maneuver between kicking him to the curb permanently and buying him mink cufflinks next year.
While mildly annoying, dirty dishes and the occasional missing yogurt don’t bother me, but being lied to really does. I am just baffled by these lies. They are so obvious but so persistent that I don’t know how to respond to them. It’s like I’m living in that Shaggy song, “It Wasn’t Me.
I am 100 percent over the loss of our relationship, which was great at times but a bad fit in a lot of different ways. I think my issue is that I don’t have much of an imagination, and on top of that I am incredibly shy, so the thought of intimacy with someone other than him is more a source of terror than pleasure.
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