REVIEW: “Disney, you can do better than this, even with something based on an amusement park staple. Haunted Mansion doesn’t have one-tenth of the wit or imagination of that decades-old attraction.”
The “hits” keep on coming: Characters are ejected from the house via speeding-backward chairs that are dead ringers for the ride’s “doom buggies.” The descending art gallery turns into an escape room, complete with quicksand and hungry alligators. The dueling brothers from the portraits turn into plot points; ditto the bride with the many decapitated husbands.
Oh look, there’s the organ player, and the dancing spirits, and the busts whose eyes seem to follow you, and a million other familiar details and soulless callbacks that aren’t worked into the story so much as shoved into the frame for quick recognition. No one would fault a potential I.P. tentpole for cramming beloved flotsam and jetsam from its source material — what the hell else are you supposed to do here? — except it all feels like a checklist being ticked off, dutifully and dully.
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