In too many cases the wife does everything to keep life ticking along.
is undeniably a patriarchal system. It began as a way to trade women as property, keeping them subdued and restricted. Christine Delphy called the marriage contract a “work contract”. The unpaid labour women are forced to undertake becomes an unappreciated – and discredited – foundation for men’s careers which patriarchy and capitalism values and rewards them for.
In too many cases the wife does everything to keep life ticking along for free at a detriment to herself while earning less, so that the husband can do the “real” work, get paid for it, and “opt-in” to domestic life when he pleases. Women are expected to embody, and they sacrifice parts of themselves in the process - if you are consistently pre-occupied by managing other people’s happiness, your own hobbies, self-development and purpose can fall by the wayside.
I’m an intersectional feminist, but I am getting married. After mentioning this on social media, I received DMs ‘asking’ about my decision with an undertone – no, anis about choice!” here, and you’re right, it is.
But for some reason, that symbolism didn’t feel fundamentally important to me if the practicality was the same. If we could make our wedding – and more importantly – our marriage reflective as us, and if our marriage becomes a foundation for my gender equality work as our relationship has then that works for me.
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