Feeling anger takes a few minutes; justifying it takes a lifetime.
. We all occasionally use anger in ego defense. The frequency and intensity of anger depends on the stability of the ego, whether it’s externally regulated or internally constructed from values and conviction. Relying on anger for ego-defense weakens the ego, just as owning guns makes us feel less secure without them.
I have never seen an anger problem that was not a function of justifying anger. We completely lose sight of our best interests with a focus on justifying anger.“I’m angry because they disrespected, disregarded, cheated, deceived me.…” Most folks confine the rumination of justifying anger to low-grade resentment, with occasional angry outbursts. Although resentment feels bad and eventually destroys relationships, it’s not likely to get us arrested.
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