Dear Annie: I was raised in a Southern family that insisted on teaching good manners. As an adult, I have continued to practice good etiquette and have referenced Emily Post and your articles when I’m not sure what’s right.
I’ve been with my partner for almost 15 years and have a wonderful relationship with his family. I’m always careful to remember cards for birthdays and thank-you notes.
I’ve always thought the point of etiquette was to make the people around you feel comfortable and welcome. If I’m making her uncomfortable, I should forgo the notes, right? -- Too Nice in California Since you have a great relationship, I’d suggest talking to her about it. Be inquisitive and not argumentative. Maybe she has another reason. If she asks you to stop sending them, then, of course, forgo the notes to her. But keep sending them to everyone else.
An employee who expresses gratitude, not just to a boss but to anyone who helps them accomplish their goals, is a promotable asset to any company. And “anyone” includes the maintenance staff, receptionist and cafeteria workers.
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