I've met someone my age who reminds me of my late husband ... . I’m scared to start something so soon, but it feels right.
DEAR ABBY: I am a proud 42-year-old gay man. I was legally married to a man for four years, but we were together for 12. In 2011, I had to make the decision to remove him from life support after a sudden traumatic illness. I remained single for six years, and then I met who I thought was a wonderful man who was 16 years younger. After the first year, he became controlling and emotionally abusive. When I ended the relationship, I felt so much freedom.
I have met someone my age who reminds me of my late husband, and we have bonded and are forming a relationship. So far, it has only been dating and spending a lot of time together. I’m scared to start something so soon, but it feels right. When is a good time to move forward? When is a proper time to become intimate? We have both had bad relationships and respect each other’s boundaries at the moment. I will never remarry, as I was entitled to survivor benefits from my late husband, and we both agree there are ways to protect each other and our financial needs other than marriage. Please help. -- IN-BETWEEN IN COLORADO
DEAR IN-BETWEEN: It seems to me that you and this new man in your life are doing everything right. You are getting to know each other and taking your time before becoming intimately involved. The proper time to advance to the next stage would be when both of you are comfortable with the idea. Communication is key in every aspect of your relationship, and it appears you are doing that already.
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