DEAR ABBY: ... A friend of more than 20 years, “Marci,” passed away eight months ago after battling cancer for four years. Just a month after the funeral, her wife, “Julia,” started dating. ...
DEAR ABBY: I’m a gay man. A friend of more than 20 years, “Marci,” passed away eight months ago after battling cancer for four years. Just a month after the funeral, her wife, “Julia,” started dating. She was engaged four months later and married “Leslie” seven months after that. When they started dating, Leslie was still legally married. My husband and I are godfathers to the one child Marci and Julia had.
I have pretty much removed myself from the situation. I no longer go to dinners or social gatherings with them. Seeing them together makes my heart hurt and stomach ache. My husband still goes out with them and seems to have no issue with it. It has caused problems between us at times. He doesn’t understand my feelings, and I can’t understand how he can support them.
A way to cope with your pain would be to make a conscious effort to forgive them for their haste AND KEEP FOREMOST IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU PROMISED MARCI YOU WOULD BE A GODPARENT TO HER CHILD. The most effective way for that to happen would be to be present in her child’s life in a way that doesn’t always involve the parents.DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker -- and great friend -- who washes her hair maybe once a week and uses dry shampoo in between.
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