Dear Abby: I’m married, but I want my new love to commit to me

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Dear Abby: I’m married, but I want my new love to commit to me
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We have amazing chemistry, and our breakups never last long.

Granted, you and Gayle may have amazing chemistry and other things in common, including birthdays. However, relationships are supposed to be mutual. As you have described it, this one is entirely on Gayle’s terms, and she hasn’t told you she loves you. Could it be because you are still married?

You have important issues to straighten out before you can have an open relationship with Gayle. One of them is whether you are ready to end your unhappy marriage. Once you are a free man, Gayle may be more forthcoming and available. If not, your romance wasn’t meant to be anything more than an exciting interlude.My husband and I have been married for 12 years. Both of us were widowed.

My husband has a cemetery plot next to his first wife. In a nearby city, I have a cemetery plot next to my first husband, which includes a combined headstone with my name already engraved. Our plan was to leave it to our children to make the arrangements when the time comes, but we realize it may not be fair to them.

We both believe funerals are for the living and not for the dead, but I don’t think it’s fair to ignore my new husband’s last name in my final resting place. Neither do I want to negate my relationship of 23 years with my first husband. What would be the proper way to resolve this so none of our children feel disrespected in relation to their parents?The first thing to do is discuss this dilemma with your children and explain your wishes. Then contact the cemetery and inquire about adding your married name to the existing headstone or purchasing a new headstone for your eventual final resting place. It’s certainly worth asking.

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