Three trainable skills can radically help you to improve your social life.
, making us more likely to avoid social challenges in the future. As a result, we miss out on the serendipitous good times and good people that we would surely encounter in the social world.is a powerful technique for breaking this cycle of avoidance. In it, one intentionally engages in positive social behaviors despite doubts that their efforts will pay off.
The key to behavioral activation is to engage in positive social behaviors, especially when you think they are unlikely to be successful.Behavioral activation works because it provides real-world evidence that social situations often go far better than one feared they would. Even if our efforts to connect are unsuccessful, we learn that an awkward social situation is really nothing to be afraid of.
If I’ve been avoiding talking to new people, asking a coworker to get lunch probably won’t solve my loneliness; it will likely go just OK. However, each time I make the effort to connect, I build skills and momentum in the right direction. In the long term, behavioral activation interrupts avoidant cycles and creates opportunities to enjoy social life and form meaningful connections. It takes effort and bravery to expose oneself to the uncertainty and stress of the social world, but it’s an adventure worth pursuing.
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