The memoir ‘Where the Children Take Us’ shares the struggle of Asher’s mother, an immigrant who was widowed with young children.
Asher spoke recently by video about getting her mother to relive her worst trauma and about what it’s like to always feel like an outsider. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.I hadn’t really thought about writing a memoir until I turned 36, the age my mother was when my father passed away. It really haunted me because I realized just how young she was then.
The first chapter was very difficult to write because my mother had buried a lot of the trauma she went through at that time – she was from Nigeria and an immigrant so she didn’t go to grief counseling or anything. When I interviewed her, it brought up a lot of the trauma and my mother had to set time limits on our conversations because it was too painful. For that chapter, I only got to interview her ten minutes at a time. And we’d have to take a break till the next day or a few days later.
Q. When you were a child your mother sent you back to Nigeria for two years for what Nigerians call “training.” Going from London to an African village was a shock to the system but it definitely influenced your childhood. Do you still feel the impact?
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