'Can I have a hot girl summer in a long-term relationship?' One writer shares her experience:
I want someone to slide into my DMs and then slide their tongue into my now-unmasked mouth. I want to feel the zing of potential and, even for a second, allow myself to imagine what comes after: a summer of brazenness, banging, and boating. Some of it with Ace there, but also some of it while he’s home looking after Celine Dion ., but no instanteither. Instead, I decide to do the mature thing—since I turn 30 in two months—and just speak to Ace about it.So.
Does finding love and sticking with it mean that I’ll never be able to experience that feeling of potential I so loved in my early twenties? As we grow up and couple up, it feels expected that we take our desire and desirability off the market.
Of course, down that road may lie the potential for a great relationship, but also potential for great hurt. At a dinner last week with a group of queer friends, we got to talking about what makes a non-monogamous relationship work. The discussion centred mostly around the topic of discussion itself. One friend said her open relationship went up in flames because they talked too much and it took the sex out of the primary partnership. They left each other a month after they went open.
What we all agreed upon, though, was that given relationships so often either end, or end up unhappy, that it’s worth talking about it even once. My partner and I might have been together for six years, but if we can’t discuss these desires now, what happens to our desires—whether sexual fantasies, career aspirations, or just what you fancy for dinner—after 16 years? Or 60?You should go. If it’s a date it’s a date. If it’s not it’s not. We can discuss it as we go.
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