Brides Are Suffocating Under the Weight of Tradition

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Brides Are Suffocating Under the Weight of Tradition
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A feeling of trauma is overwhelming some modern brides, even as they try to rebel against the cookie-cutter wedding spectacle.

according to the Knot. Beth Montemurro, a professor at Penn State who specializes in gender and sexuality, said this rise in culturally significant weddings began in the ‘80s and ‘90s as a result of the economic climate: America was emerging from war and recession, and young people were ready to flaunt their social status by throwing gaudy parties.

The South in particular, according to James, prides itself on marital soirees that are equal parts spectator sport, community gathering, and debutante ball. James, who grew up in Louisiana, said she felt the pressure of rigid Southern traditions throughout her planning process, but being Black in the South automatically put her at odds with the region’s belles.

James and her husband proudly got married in Baton Rouge in a stunning museum near the state capitol, one her ancestors might never have been allowed to step foot inside. But after her mini-moon, the post-wedding blues hit her hard, as she was haunted by lingering doubts—“you should’ve done this” and “you didn’t do this.” For every tradition reclaimed, she found herself revisiting and questioning the traditions abandoned on the cutting room floor.

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