More than 70% of American adults drink alcohol, and the CDC says the number of 'binge drinkers' has been increasing dramatically the last 15 years, especially among women and older adults.
CARI: I always wondered when I was going to get my adult card, you know, you think it’s going to be 18, and then at 21, and really now I’m thinking maybe 34 is when I got my adult card and drinking on a Thursday night makes Friday morning not so pleasurable.
C: It’s been a piece of everything since we’ve turned 21, or 18, that we have, you know, always had a drink or been drinking when we’ve been at parties, and it is a fundamental shift, and I just don’t want that to enter into the dynamic. It’s easy to think of drinking in black and white: either you do it, or you don’t. But the thing we heard from you...is that in the middle, there’s a big, confusing gray area. You know am I having a drink because I need a drink, or because I want a drink, or is it...who’s in control?I'm trying to quit drinking, but I drink once a week, you know, it would feel weird to show up to a recovery group in that stage.
This is voice memo we got from a listener named Rachel. She told me she drinks pretty much every day...one or two drinks at a time. And for women, the CDC calls that “heavy drinking,” because it’s 8 or more drinks a week. Rachel knows those statistics because she’s a therapist, who’s counseled people struggling with addiction.
AS: Do you feel like-- I sort of feel like pop culture in this moment is... definitely encourages me as a young mom to drink and indulge. Like, the idea that like, that we need this or we, we, you know, at the end of a long day, this is the way that we can like get in a bubble bath with dove bars and a glass of white wine. Like that's what, that's what we're supposed to do to take care of ourselves.
H: He doesn’t admit to it being like an addiction of alcohol, but he does consume a lot of it every night. He was in the military and uh, got injured doing his work, and uh, it’s really just a big coping mechanism for his pain. H: Yeah, yeah, because uh, sometimes he travels for work, he’s a, usually he’s a construction supervisor. And so he hasn’t had a DUI, but he’s been at risk of one at certain times. And I—that worried me. I—I’ve gone off and on about, hey Dad.
JEAN: I mean, I'm pretty good at chugging beers. I can a pint in probably less than four seconds. I've beat a lot of boys doing that. I'm really good at keg stands.A listener we’re calling Jean is 32 now, but back in her twenties, she drank a lot….for work. Her job was being a “beer girl,” as she calls it-- working in kitchens and bars and finally in marketing for a microbrewery in the Pacific Northwest. She spent a lot of time at beer competitions and festivals.
AS: When you were noticing that drinking was starting to be a little harder on your body, what did you notice first? AS: when you left the brewery and when it was no longer your job to be the fun woman passing out beer, like when you went out, did you have to figure out how to be in a different way when you were drinking?
It’s getting to the point where I think I might need help, um and it’s scary to even say that out loud. And look at myself. [sigh] I don’t know.of conversations among the Death, Sex & Money team about howdrink. Most of us really enjoy a nice cocktail from time to time...but sometimes, for whatever reason, we want to hold off. Anabel goes to a store and spends too much money on a fancy kombucha. Xandra says she exercises when she wants a drink, but doesn’t want to drink...
AS: Yeah, so you're like looking at a spreadsheet and you're deciding, here's my new rule about alcohol. A listener named Meredith also wrote in about finding a creative way to monitor her alcohol consumption. She’s never wanted to give it up completely-- she grew up in an Irish and Scottish family... and for her, drinking brings up a lot of nice memories.
And that’s how Meredith approached drinking as an adult, too. She got a job in politics, moved to D.C., and alcohol remained a part of her life. M: So the real origin story of sober September is that I had to be in a pink bridesmaid’s dress on October 1st for a wedding. And so I made a bet with myself that I was gonna give up drinking for the month of September and go to the gym a couple of times a week.
Marva used her budget to cut down on her drinking. Meredith used the calendar. And Drew… a 35-year-old listener in Texas...used a pill. AS: When you do drink, when you cycle off, when you plan ahead and don't take the pill for a few days, do you feel guilty? Do you feel like you're giving yourself a treat? How do you think about it?
I believe that I was always very very uncomfortable in my own skin. At dis-ease with being me. And drinking helped me feel a little bit more comfortable a little less raw. It worked for a long time and then it didn't anymore.I hurt myself, I gashed my leg, I still have a scar.The last time I blacked out I woke up in a hotel room with a man that I don’t even know where the heck I connected with him.Just like this is over. I’m done. I’m done.I haven’t had a drink in over three months.
J: He’s like a little bit older than me, just by a couple of years, but, he doesn’t, he doesn’t drink like I do, and it definitely comes off like I’m out of control, it’s obnoxious, like, you know, it’s not a good look. It’s not a good look to get absolutely shitfaced and embarrass yourself. And I’ve embarrassed him a few times. There’s nothing—it’s never too bad but just me acting crazy.
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