‘If you find yourself starting a sentence ‘at least …’ stop straight away.’ CHarmerSands, CEO of SandsUK, and Katie Harris, who lost one of her twin daughters, share their advice on how to support those dealing with baby loss in our new article:
Less than four in every 1,000 births end in a stillbirth. In twin births, this rises to around seven in every 1,000 births, and this doesn't take into account the babies that suffer a neonatal death. However, it’s still an area shrouded in secrecy that many refuse to talk about. With several high-profile cases highlighted in recent years, parents are being given a voice to speak out.
“It was a really difficult time to navigate through. At the beginning, I just found myself frantically Googling and trying to find places to find support. When I did give birth, it was almost as if I had just given birth to a single baby and that it hadn't really happened. For me, it was really important for people to acknowledge Abikara and acknowledge the fact that I had given birth to twins.
“Finding ways to feel connected to the baby can help, and so can adding to those memories over time to create an enduring bond or connection. This could be doing an activity in their memory on their birthday or planting trees and watching them grow."“If you know someone whose baby has died it can be hard to find the right words to say, and this can add to their feelings of isolation,” says Clea. “Simply saying how sorry you are can really help.
“If they have a surviving twin, understand that this will add a complex layer as they will be celebrating the arrival of the new baby as well as grieving for their twin. Don't feel guilty for feeling sad.”“If the baby loss is a twin, try not to only focus on the surviving twin,” says Katie. “My midwives were excellent at always speaking about Abikara as well. When they came to do their checks, they would always mention her and asked if I'd been to see her at the hospital.
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