Dear Amy: Growing up my childhood was not horrible — just bad.
I swore never to step foot inside the building again, but my family members pressure me.I want to get them to understand , but at the moment I am at a loss.Given the long-term symptoms you say you experience, I’d offer a gentle correction to your statement that your childhood was “not horrible.”
Your choice to get professional help is a great one, and I hope that you continue to discuss your experiences with a qualified therapist.Although I wonder if it is best for you to be connected with your family, if you want to remain in touch, the best way to do this is to hold onto your decisions privately and learn how to deflect pressure. You can review strategies with your therapist.
My second piece of advice is that you should consider blowing the whistle on this toxic church community. If things that happened there were harmful, abusive, or criminal, you might be helping yourself and other survivors. Recently I told them that I was hiring an arborist to trim some trees at the back of my property where it meets theirs. They pointed out two dead trees that they were eager to have removed.
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