Dear Amy: I have an extended family member whose son is gay. He has been in a relationship with his live-in partner for many years.
If you decide not to sit in judgment of this couple, then your relationship with these family members shouldn’t be adversely affected. I hope you’re capable of that.Admittedly, this is longer than I originally would have liked, but outside factors such as our long-distance relationship, COVID, and moving across the country together have continually delayed the wedding date.As a result, she has continually poked and prodded about our wedding plans. At best, her interference is exhausting.
Over Thanksgiving, Mom compiled a list of all the family members’ birthdays and distributed it at dinner.When I asked my mother about it, she told me, “Well, you’re not married, so technically she’s not part of the family.” What, if anything, can I do to address this snub and to make the woman I love feel like part of the family?Your mother’s choice to exclude your partner from a list of “family members” was deliberate and unkind – especially since she unveiled this list at a holiday event where she knew your partner would be present. Wow.
A couple of points you might want to make are: This woman is your significant other. Your life partner. When — or if — you have a wedding will be up to the two of you. You should insist that your mother respect your partner, and yes — consider her as a family member.
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