Advice from Amy Dickinson.
I am an art historian, out of graduate school for about five years. I am now pursuing my Ph.D., also teaching, and am starting to get invited to do presentations and sit on panels at academic conferences.
He is taking this personally, and I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not personal – I just don’t want to do it.Adults don’t accompany one another on business trips. With rare exceptions, it is considered unprofessional to bring a “plus-one.”Your own instincts underscore the reasons for this. When you’re giving a presentation in the morning, the night before is often spent sitting on your bed in a Guest Quarters Suite, mainlining fruit roll-ups and trying to get your PowerPoint to load.
I would dearly love to make amends and move forward, which I believe we could do in one session to clear the air, but I do not know how to go about this given her silence and ongoing refusal to even acknowledge our existence. Unfortunately, there is no common friend or neighbor who could run interference and get the ball rolling.Grandparents often enjoy a relaxed perspective about children, hard won through years of experience.
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