Dear Amy: I am in my first year of marriage, trying to navigate a tricky in-law situation.
My mother-in-law does a lot of taking and not a lot of giving. This dynamic is increasing at a fast pace.Not only does she ask for my help constantly, but she also makes everything extremely complicated and frustrating for everyone involved. She will not tolerate being told no. She becomes passive-aggressive and at times has been mean enough to make me cry.
Now she has asked that I help her make a scrapbook for this same stranger, using my wedding photos, which would involve hours of work.She never offers to help with our son, even though she lives five minutes away, is retired and in excellent health.
This should start with you learning to say “no” and managing your own fears regarding the way your mother-in-law might respond or retaliate. When you have asked her to help you out, she declines! Let her teach you by example: “Sorry, but I’m busy.” “I’m going to have to say no.” “I’m going to say no. I have a lot on my plate.”
But most people I know use Instagram, etc., and, as a result, I’m usually the last to know what’s going on in their lives.Should I just bite the bullet and start using these platforms, even though I find it daunting, or should I stick to my principles?Dear Old-Fashioned: Every new technology and communication system creates dilemmas and challenges.
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