I feel I have been very generous, yet I’m still in second place.
My husband is still working, and I am caring for an adult child with special needs. We are not getting any younger and I don’t want to participate in this kind of dynamic.I would do anything for my grandchild and feel we are extremely generous with our time and gifts.
I suggest that you initiate a calm and open-ended conversation with your daughter, telling her that you adore your grandchild but detect a sense of dissatisfaction from her. Ask her where this comes from, and tell her how this dynamic — and the way she frames things — makes you feel. Even though most parenting experiences are actually universal, she won’t see your situations as being analogous. New parents never do.
Do not ask for “equal time” or even equal attention with the other grandparents and rooted extended family who all live nearby. Do not let your daughter manipulate you .My family just received another “form” thank-you from a newly married couple whose wedding we attended.However, the envelope was marked to my husband only and not even with the effort of a “Mr.” – just his name.
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