Ask Amy: How long is too long ago for a friend to air past grievances?

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Ask Amy: How long is too long ago for a friend to air past grievances?
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In today's Ask Amy column, Amy Dickinson responds to someone who is unsure how to respond after a friend brought up a long-ago disagreement.

My friend “Shari” emailed me about a letter in your column. The letter Shari quoted to me was about the propriety of a friend taking a photo of them while they were eating.

In her email, Shari stated that she remembered me doing the same thing and told me to stop taking pictures of people without their permission. She remembers this incident happening in a specific place, but does not remember the month, year or event. She did remember that I was using a digital camera.I’ve had a smartphone for almost 10 years and haven’t used a digital camera in all of that time.Dear M:

Given the violation you are accused of committing and the length of time that has passed, I’d say that the statute of limitations has long since passed. However, if you would like to preserve or try to revive a friendship with “Shari,” you might reply, “I have never knowingly taken a picture of another person without their permission, and as this seems to have happened at least 10 years ago, I cannot remember this incident. All the same, it is obvious that this has been on your mind and heart for a long time, and I’m very sorry you’ve been holding onto this for so long without mentioning it to me.

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