Dear Amy: My ex-husband and I had a difficult, drawn-out divorce after 26 years of marriage, with eight years of unhappiness and zero sex (and no — the lack of sex and fighting over money wer…
I suggest that you should attempt to cordially share space with him during family events, greeting him verbally and behaving neutrally otherwise. In short, yes — ignore him.As a retired minister, I am occasionally asked to lead funeral services or weddings. Most pastors do not “charge” a set fee for such services but typically receive an honorarium. In the past year, I prepared and led several funerals and a wedding. I received nothing for one of the funerals, and less than $100 for the wedding.
Of course, no matter what the price, I put my heart into these services of worship, but they demand hard work and lots of time, and pastors do have expenses. My theory is that most people simply do not know if — or how — pastors are compensated for “extra” services, and they believe it is too awkward to inquire.
For a funeral, you might state: “I normally charge XX to perform a funeral service. Would this present an additional hardship for you? If so, I would be willing to reduce or waive my fee.”
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