Dear Amy: My friend says that people hardly ever change. He says that we have to just accept or detach from them.
Dear Brian: Let me put it this way: I’m absolutely convinced that I can change, and yet I know that I’m unlikely to change much.
I agree with your friend that dramatic and lasting change is rare, but I take issue with the “accept or detach” idea. Acceptance is a form of detachment in its purest form, but sometimes – when change is necessary for a relationship to continue – if change doesn’t happen, disengagement is called for.Dear Amy: “Shattered” was a woman who gained significant weight after a bad break up.
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