Ask Amy: After uncomfortable double date, woman anticipates verbal fireworks at Fourth of July party

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Ask Amy: After uncomfortable double date, woman anticipates verbal fireworks at Fourth of July party
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DEAR AMY: Recently, my fiancé and I went out with his friend (of 30 years) “George,” and George’s new girlfriend, “Janet.”George went to the restroom. ...

DEAR AMY: Recently, my fiancé and I went out with his friend “George,” and George’s new girlfriend, “Janet.”After some chit chat, Janet reached over and stroked my fiancé’s face without uttering a word.My fiancé left the table almost immediately to use to restroom himself. Upon his return, he switched his seat to be on the other side of me .

People who have never experienced this sometimes criticize the victim for not speaking up in the moment. But the nearly universal response to this sort of violation is to first freeze - and then to create distance . Whether consciously or not, she is counting on a double-standard regarding how people tend to respond when men’s physical boundaries are violated.

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