'I’m not afraid of any devil or demon or incantation. They are terrified of me.'
lawn decoration proves anything, it’s that there’s always room for a weird new holiday tradition. In that spirit, I’m adopting a new Halloween ritual of my own this year, and I invite you to do the same. This October, I will be taking time to savor an important text that will heretofore be known as Hailey Bieber’s Halloween gospel.
The text was initially prompted by some forgotten follower of Finochio’s who asked him for a quick opinion on Halloween—“Halloween yes or no”—to which he responded with an extremely not-quick answer about how he approaches the holiday: “I’m a Christian. Do you have any idea what that means historically?” it begins, presumably speaking to all the people out there who follow a pastor on Instagram but are unfamiliar with Christianity, our country’s dominant religion.
Prior to reading this post, I have to admit I had never encountered this particular definition of Christianity. I was aware that some people consider Halloween a “pagan holiday,” but I didn’t know there were Christians out there who were … proud? … of colonizing it? Whein 2019, it was after some of her followers had criticized her for her decision, as a Christian, to celebrate Halloween, so it’s actually supposed to be sort of tongue-in-cheek.
earlier this year for being in a convoluted “feud” with her husband’s ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez, but my primary impression of her comes from a 2016, in which the journalist enters the pop star’s room to find her sitting on his bed: “She is doing nothing—no TV, no book, no phone, no computer, no music, no oil paints, nothing.” She is forever the girl who is doing nothing; I don’t really think of her as someone with a lot to say, even though her profile has increased in recent years.
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