MONTGOMERY, AL—Sparking a national debate about the separation of church and state, Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Tom Parker came under fire this week for blatantly invoking VeggieTales in an official ruling.
“Somebody up there is really upset with somebody down here,” the decision read in part, attributing the quote to Junior Asparagus in Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie, a 2002 animated film that openly informed the court’s ruling, which establishes in case law the Christian idea that life begins at pollination. “When Asparagus states, ‘You and God are like peas in a pod’ to Percy Pea, it is indisputable proof that life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of the Holy Cucumber.
Additional precedent for this ruling lies in season one, episode 22, when Bob the Tomato tries to bring a promised son to life, only for a crew of zany French peas to get in the way—peas who would now, under this law, be subject to prosecution. It is this court’s opinion that even someone as annoying as Laura Carrot deserves a chance at life.” At press time, defendants had appealed the decision to the U.S.
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