Advice | Carolyn Hax: Grad student falls into a “pity pit” over a friend's star performance in a competitive program.
I’m genuinely happy for them — and jealous as hell. I think I’m doing a great job of cheerleading their successes and hiding my feelings of inferiority, but honestly, this doesn’t feel sustainable. I find myself thinking, “I won’t even bother applying for X, because Friend might,” quite often.
Or not! There’s always a first time. But that doesn’t negate the work or value of everyone else. We need variety, subs, role players, followers, a supporting cast. We need people being their infinitely interesting selves. We need lightsWe can even declare this a joy of being one among billions: Any standing out is a delusion anyway, a construct of blinders and highly localized thinking.
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