She thinks her good friend is her new boyfriend's 'exact type,' so she refuses to introduce them to each other.
Every get-together I tried to arrange when I got back fell through, and they even canceled last minute to a dinner at my house. I was starting to get worried something was wrong, so I came out and asked Bonnie what was going on. She finally told me she doesn’t want her boyfriend to meet me because I’m the exact type of woman he finds most attractive, and she knows when he sees me he’ll realize it and that will be the end for them.
I’m hurt that she thinks I’d ever do anything with her boyfriend, I’m mad that she’s prioritizing him over us, and I feel sorry that she has such low self-esteem. She’s both a wonderful person and a pretty girl. What do I do now? Is this friendship over?Has she even thought about the endgame here? Where she and Guy never leave the house?
If this is new insecurity for Bonnie, then you need to consider whether her new boyfriend is breaking her down mentally and emotionally, introducing such self-doubt.
If it’s not new, then Bonnie was probably on this road long before you or the guy. Same need for help, given how extreme her possessiveness is, but different sources and risks.Regardless of what’s going on, she needs a steady and supportive friend, even one from afar. Second, do not let howlers like her comments stand.
This won’t magically fix anything, it kind of goes without saying. But it’s a strong pro-Bonnie stance that I hope you will take and maintain. She’s in trouble. Keep in touch, keep inviting, keep your cool.Bonnie always has struggled a little bit with her self-esteem. Her sister was a cheerleader and literally a model for a while and her parents favor her sister because of that.
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