Advice: After seven years of trying, a reader wants to find the joy in her pregnancy.
I was not anticipating these feelings to be so heavy and daunting but they are and now I find myself paralyzed rather than joyful. Got any advice? How do I shift my boss babe mind-set into this new season and trust the timing of God’s plan? I’m praying a lot but I lay awake at night and worry. I’m feeling very lost and embarrassed to speak out loud about what I wrote here.You are not alone. At this exact time last year, I was curled in a ball at 3 a.m.
It isn’t your fault that you weren’t expecting the grief to be so heavy. Narratives about the physical implications of pregnancy abound. We can mentally prepare for the morning sickness and weird cravings, but no one talks about the identity crisis that comes up around pregnancy. Yet it is just as common, if not more common, than morning sickness. No one tells you how hard it is to sleep knowing your entire life and identity are about to change.
In the meantime, don’t bottle up your feelings. And please stop judging yourself for having them. When I forced myself out of my own self-imposed prison of silence during a difficult pregnancy, because the anguish was overwhelming and I couldn’t go on pretending everything was okay, three things happened: 1. The suffocating weight of my anxiety lost some of its power over me once I realized I wasn’t alone in it. 2.
“I told myself I owed it to my daughter to show her that I could be a whole person with a career and side hustles and friends and dreamsbe a good mom. I only set that intention because I, too, had that fear of needing to sacrifice one part of my life for another. The idea of ‘giving up’ being a Boss Babe™️ because you’re a mom is afear. But you can still be a ‘boss babe’ with a baby if that’s what you want.
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