'The art of listening involves engaging with a person in a heartfelt, authentic way.' Here's how to get started.
can help us be more connected to the feelings that live in our body. Learning to be gentle and friendly toward our own feelings creates a calm foundation for attending to others’ feelings in a sensitive, attuned way.It’s easy to get triggered and defensive when people express their feelings, especially if their feelings are responses to something we did or said. Their emotions might trigger our discomfort with sadness, fear,Being defensive means we're not letting people in.
To the extent that we can find a safe refuge within ourselves, we can listen without getting so triggered and overwhelmed. People can usually sense when we’re uncomfortable with their feelings. People are more likely to feel safe and not withdraw or attack us as we replace defensiveness with self-soothing. A big step forward is toMonitoring our defensiveness means noticing when we’re becoming reactive, perhaps by shutting down or becoming sarcastic.
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