'My sister had a tendency to blame her boyfriends when she would fart. She was a loud, stinky farter. One day during Christmas, we were all together and she farted and blamed her current boyfriend per usual. ...'
"Look, you know why I'm here, I know why I'm here, don't make me say it. Just help me get this thing out of my ass, please.""My daughter spray painted my son's name on the side of my house. When asked about it, she claimed he did it himself, even though his name was horribly misspelled. Little shit LOL.""When my kid was around 3 or 4 years old, I looked at him, and his hair looked kinda weird.
😂 It's been over a decade later; I still laugh at it.""'I have a Lamborghini, but it’s at my grandma’s house, and no, you can’t see it.' —Timmy from my third grade class. Why the f*ck did you have a car at 10, Timmy?!""I put all my clothes in the washer, and it broke. I can’t come to work naked.""LOL. One time, I was late because there was a horse walking down the middle of the road that wouldn't move.
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